Friday, January 29, 2010

Some days, you don't win

Some days start out great from moment 1: you wake up refreshed and feeling great, and the world only gets better from there. Yesterday was not one of those days. Rather than drag you through the mud of the day, let me share one story:

To get from the University metro station to my building, I have to cross a divided road. While there are an indistinct number of lanes on each side of the division, limited mostly by how wide the cars are and how aggressive the drivers, there is usually very little traffic. Green space is held at a premium in Mexico City, so the medians of divided roads are typically turned into small park spaces (imagine for a moment an unfenced playground in the middle of a busy road -- while I appreciate the sentiment of making parks, it still feels a little bit like "Here's a ball, Timmy. Go play in the road!"). The park-median I go through each day has a paved walkway for those crossing and fences to limit foot traffic on the grass. Yesterday morning, someone had left the sprinklers on, spraying the walkway. Rather than walking to the end of the fence and scampering through the median gap with the cars trying to turn around, I decided to follow the lead of the nicely dressed young man near me who was also stuck trying to cross. We both watched the sprinklers, realized that we could easily get down the path between sprays of water, and ran for it. Seriously, who hasn't had happy thoughts back to running through the sprinklers as a kid even if they're hoping to stay dry this time? The worst case scenario was that I would somehow slip on the damp paving, fall, and end up getting a little wet...or so I thought. It turns out that the water used on the lawns of the university has been treated with something. Something that smells suspiciously like raw sewage. While I didn't fall or get hit directly by the water, the mist was...*shudder* I immediately dove into the next building and spent the next 10 minutes scrubbing any exposed flesh in the restroom sink. I don't want to hear from anyone that it was probably sewage. I don't care if you have first-hand knowledge, or personally shat in the water tank. I just keep telling myself that it couldn't have been truly terribly stuff, otherwise it would be inappropriate to spray all over a grassy area used by picnickers on a university campus. *gag*

Keating insisted when I got home last night that I didn't smell odd. Still, that smell was in my nose all day long. I'm lucky I still have skin left after the scrubbing I gave myself.



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Note: About an hour after posting, I received this friendly email from my mom:

"Eew. You asked that no one give you further information, but a little food for thought-a few years back Mexico had a problem with "unplanted" tomato plants showing up everywhere and it was determined to be coming from the watering source-the seeds don't digest...SORRY! "

Ah, thanks Mom. Thanks. *shudder*

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

"Be my Kevin Bacon!"

Keating has been enjoying his salsa class and, according to some of his Korean classmates I met this weekend, is the best non-native-Mexican dancer in the group. Despite the terrified looks from some of his classmates when he suggested it, he is starting to itch to actually go out to a real salsa club and build on his skills. While his classmates may not be game for the adventure, Keating found an enthusiastic accomplice in one of our Spanish-speaking friends. Jorge, a Colombian architect married to my boss' daughter, is reputed to be an incredible dancer. (It may just be in our social circle, but there appears to be a lot of reverence for Colombia here. Within my hearing so far, the Colombians have been credited with being the best dancers, having the best sense of humor, and speaking the best Spanish in all of Latin America.) Jorge's wife, Monica, seems less than enthusiastic about the idea of going on a salsa dancing double date, since it turns out that she doesn't really like to dance. (Oh, sacred stereotypes! What is happening?? A man that likes dancing more than his wife? A Latina with little interest in dancing? What is the world coming to??) Keating's plan: get Jorge to teach him at least 20% of what he knows, thereby reenacting our own little version of Footloose. While I love that Keating is really getting into this, I don't ever need to hear "Be my Kevin Bacon!" from my husband's lips again. It makes me start looking around nervously for tractors.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

The big buses

My love affair with the large buses here is officially over. I still have yet to have ridden in one, and they still look more spacious and comfortable than the buses I end up riding, but they have made me angry. One of them tried to run me over.

It shouldn't come as a surprise that being a pedestrian in Mexico City requires a little bit of dodging and a lot of looking both ways. I take for granted that at least one car/truck/bus will run every single red light, and so far I've had a 100% success rate for my predictions. My frustration was that the driver broke several laws in his attempt to hit me. Not only was he passing in a no-passing lane, he was outright driving in the oncoming traffic lane (kind of a big deal when you consider it was a one way street), and (even better!!!) running a red light that he had already stopped for. Not only did he piss me off, he also made the cars already going through the intersection pretty upset. I think there may have been some strange stretching in the fabric of the universe since no one actually collided with anything; the sum total of damage was some honking and a few really dirty looks. On the plus side, it really woke me up for the morning.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Keating's latest adventure: Results

Thanks to humor and pantomime, Keating's haircut yesterday was a success! He looks really great -- no mohawks or bald heads to be found. His only disappointment: he had already shaved and was therefore unable to enjoy getting that done by the barber as well. I don't understand it, but apparently there is something magical about straight razors.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Keating's latest adventure

One of the things I love about Keating is that he is always ready to try something new and to do something on his own here despite his struggles with the language. This is how for Christmas he ended up eating Fruit Loops and whole milk for breakfast -- he had gone shopping on his own. He was pretty well buzzed all day, and the next day made it a mission to find not-whole milk of any percentage. During our first week here, he wanted to ask the waiter in the restaurant we were in for the bill. Unfortunately, he asked for "the cheese" instead, resulting in some definite confusion.

Today, he is trying his hand at something new: while I am work, Keating is going to go get his hair cut. He is armed with the word "corto," or short. I can't wait to get home tonight to see how it comes out. Will he be bald, or nearly so? Will the barber figure out what Keating is hoping for? Or will he still be washing the cheese out of his hair when I get home?

Transportation

It's a hard thing to go from the blissful autonomy of having your own car to relying on public transportation. That said, I think that it took us a little under 3.5 seconds following our arrival in Mexico City to rejoice in our lack of car; the traffic is so scary that I will do everything in my power to avoid driving here. Ever. That leaves us with three transportation options: taxis, metro, and buses.

Our first experience with transportation here was our taxi ride from the airport to the hotel where we were staying until the apartment was deemed ready. During that ride, we took comfort in the fact that our luggage not only filled the trunk but completely buried us in the back seat: that much padding must surely protect us in the inevitable crash. It turns out that we grossly underestimated our intrepid driver, who spent the next hour swerving through traffic and coming within millimeters of sideswiping every fourth car on the road. Our second taxi ride came a few days later when we moved into our new apartment. On this trip, we had the advantage of spreading out in a 15-passenger van typically used for tourist groups. It was driven by a sweet 85 year old man who had absolutely no idea where we were going. To be fair, the road names change every couple of miles to reflect the neighborhood. We, however, got a very thorough tour of our neighborhood since our driver kept insisting that the number were going the wrong way and turning off onto other roads to circle back. We finally convinced him of the benefit of stopping and asking directions. For whatever reason, he decided that it would be Keating's job to jump out of the van and ask for directions from the woman selling fruit by the road. Keep in mind that at this point Keating was capable of ordering a beer and little else (which the driver was already well familiar with having spent the last 70 minutes coaching Keating on how to pronounce bizarre indigenous words that will only come on handy if we find ourselves in a remote village that is still speaking a Mexica-Spanish creole). We spent about a third of the trip driving in aimless circles, and I consider it near-miraculous that we finally found the apartment. Since then, we have largely avoided taxis mostly as they are the most expensive option and there is still a decently high number of pirate taxis on the road. The pirate situation has improved significantly in the last 10 years, though my friends here debate whether that is a result of cracking down on illegal taxis or simply lowering the standards to allow anyone an official taxi license. Legal taxis can be identified by their license plates -- not any easy thing to read as a car flashes past. It is generally considered to just call a taxi company and have them come get you or, failing that, to find one of the regular taxi stands located throughout the city. Hailing a cab on the street is considered a task for the experienced.

The metro system here is absolutely amazing: the trains are clean, fast, frequent (2 minute waits, max!), and dirt cheap. For approximately 25 cents, I can ride all 11 lines from 5 am to 1 am. (No, I have not yet actually tried this.) Almost all of the metro stations come equipped with food stands, book stores, mini-pharmacies, etc., located on both sides of the turnstiles. The average Mexican is capable of carrying on nearly all life functions within the metro system. They have an uncanny ability to wake from coma-like naps on the train approximately 30 feet prior to their stop. Despite the shaking, the women manage to do their makeup in the morning without any apparent difficulty. My personal favorite was the professionally-dressed woman I saw last week curling her eyelashes with a spoon as the metro train bounced along through the morning commute. Keating and I watched in morbid fascination, waiting for her to gouge out her own eye during a rapid stop. (Never fear, she made the trip in safety despite stops that sent some passengers hurtling forward several feet before they managed to catch themselves.) It also appears to be a national pastime to make out on the metro; from teenagers to senior citizens, you can be guaranteed to nearly trip over a couple necking on a train or in a station every single ride. There are really only two problems with the metro: 1) occasional crowding that makes me wish for the comparative spaciousness of a compact clown car filled with a dozen people kitted out in red noses and oversized shoes and 2) the metro does not run within walking distance of our apartment. This means that Keating and I get to spend a fraction of each day on the buses.

Oh, the buses! Locally known as peseros, they are a force unto themselves. Peseros come in three basic varieties: large, throwback, and converted VW bus. I have yet to have actually caught one of the large ones, but they look like typical buses from American public transportation systems. I look longingly at them every time my throwback bus pulls up alongside one at a stoplight (this is problematic since there is only one bus lane). The route I normally take to and from work typically puts me on a throwback bus. These peseros look to be left over from the 1970's, and no two are the same. Each driver lovingly decorates the inside of his pesero with stickers, lights, and any variety of shiny and/or spiritual objects. These buses all have two things in common: at least one broken window and a door in the back through which to exit. To get off the bus, one must stand up and wade through the people clinging to overhead rails to reach the back door. Once there, one must find and press the "Exit" button somewhere over the open door to signal to the driver that someone wants off. Some drivers will then slowly pull over to the curb and stop while the person exits the bus; most drivers will screech to a semi-halt and expect the passenger to jump while the bus keeps moving slowly. Fortunately, drivers tend to have compassion for the elderly, the disabled, and people traveling in groups and will give them a fair shot at exiting. There are few rushes in the world like careening down the road in a throwback-style pesero when you have a really aggressive driver. It's actually pretty amazing watching the cars flee before it. When I don't catch a throwback pesero, I end up on one of the VW buses. The seats have been ripped out and replaced with benches along the walls intended to seat 13 passengers. This really only works well if you are traveling with an Olympic gymnastics team, or another similarly underfed group. The peseros, despite being a critical part of the transportation system in many parts of the city, feel no need to actually have posted routes. The peseros make up for being cramped, dirty, and a little bit scary by charging more than the metro. I am told that this is because the metro is run by the city while the peseros are a business venture controlled by the Mexican Mafia. Reassuring. While I'm still intimidated by taking peseros outside of my normal routes, they are at least nice and manageable once you figure out which one you want and where to get off. They are also my only way to get to the metro.

I was rewarded last week on the pesero for my efforts to blend in and not look like a terrified foreigner when the man next to me asked me if road "X" was coming up soon since he was supposed to get off there and didn't normally ride this route. I had absolutely no idea, but it was nice to be asked! Perhaps I'm starting to blend in a bit after all. Perhaps I'll soon be curling my eyelashes with a spoon on my way in to work.


Monday, January 18, 2010

A note on names

I decided not to use our real names on this blog. That decision made, I was then stuck with a quandary: what to call ourselves? For those of you who know us and wonder about our chosen names, mine is a combination of my name and what I do, and Keating's name comes from the teacher in his favorite movie, Dead Poet's Society. Apologies to friends and family who may be driven slightly mad by the pseudonyms; we just didn't want the blog to come up with a Google search of our names.

King of the Prom

Since Keating doesn't speak Spanish (he studied French in high school...oops!) we decided that it would be a wise investment to sign him up for the 6 week intensive Spanish course offered at UNAM. In addition to the basic language class, he was asked to choose two cultural electives from a list of three options: pronunciation, salsa, and folk dancing. We're still trying to work out how "pronunciation" is a cultural elective as opposed to a kind of recitation section, but those were the options. Surveying the options, Keating decided that there were few forces on earth that would induce him to become a Mexican Folk Dancer. (The only real advantage to taking Folk Dance was that it would allow him to take the afternoon Pronunciation section, thereby giving him an extra hour of sleep in the morning. No small incentive considering our hour-long commute to school.) The result is that he has Pronunciation 8-9 M-F, Basic Spanish 1 9-12 M-F, and Salsa dancing 12-1 M-W.

Most of Keating's Salsa class is filled with students from Korea, Japan, and China, students who have had very little exposure to Latin music. Given his description, it sounds as though many of the male students have had very little exposure to dancing of any variety. Despite having a dancing edge on most of his class thanks to swing dancing and musical theater, poor Keating has been feeling incredibly awkward and self conscious: the reflections in the dance room mirrors highlight for him just how much bigger, and blonder, he is than his classmates. He insists that he feels like a lumbering giant looming over his classmates. On Wednesday, after a particularly grueling hour of learning the Electric Slide crosssed with what appears to be a dash of Jazzercize (yeah, I don't know why that's in a salsa class either, but the daily performances of what he's learned are a riot!), Keating felt like he was in need of a long break and a cold drink. As he gathered up his things to leave, one of the petite Korean girls in his class marched right up to him, looked him in the eye, and said in forceful (if broken) English:

Girl: "You. You're my partner now. You have grooooove."

Keating: (flabbergasted) "Uh, ok?"

And with that, the stunned Keating (who had felt like the elephant in the room) was crowned King of the Prom. He had been claimed, and in no uncertain terms. I think he'll enjoy Salsa class more now.

Now if I can just claim him back at the end of the class so that I can go dancing with him....


Friday, January 15, 2010

Once upon a time, a couple of newlyweds left upstate New York and moved to Mexico City. Rather, this happened in mid-December, 2009. Our two heroes, Shazta and Keating (names changed for the sake of internet anonymity), left behind the familiar and the snowy to move to Mexico for Shazta's postdoctoral work. She spoke some Spanish; Keating could order a beer and ask for the bathroom. This blog is their story, as told by Shazta, and intended to entertain and update friends and family in the States.